Living Through Snowstorms
Although winter is nearing its end in the next few weeks, I am still thinking of our last snow storm. And for those who live in other locations, I know that snow doesn’t recognize the date on the calendar when Winter changes to Spring; even here in the Midwest it doesn’t. I recall one spring break when I was 6 or 7, an epic April blizzard dropped so much snow, the snowplows couldn’t manage to get to our road. This snow permitted nothing more than sleds being pulled by neighborhood moms to inch down the street in order purchase some “emergency” provisions at Phil’s – a small, corner grocery store.
Later, I experienced the mother of all snowstorms — at least in my lifetime. We had arrived at my husband’s family cabin in the Sierra Nevada Mountains one Friday before Veteran’s Day. A light snow was falling on dry ground, so we decided to shop for groceries that evening, instead of waiting until the next morning. This turned out to be one of our better moves, because we woke up to 6 feet of snow and our car was completely buried—in fact the driveway and the street had completely disappeared. Stuck in the snow didn’t even begin to describe our predicament. And it was quite a feat to unearth the car and ourselves over the next few days.
Recalling all of the potential challenges of living in a climate with snow reminds me how I have handled other types of stormy seasons in life. Snowstorms can be incredibly dangerous, especially when the snow falls fast, heavy, and without warning. If you’re stuck in a car alone, at best it can take patience and some skillful maneuvering to get yourself unstuck. But, there are also real-life-stories of people who have found themselves stuck in remote areas, snow drifting and blowing, the road impassible, who have run out of gas, trying to stay warm. Some of them have even frozen to death as a result.
There is a parallel in life’s circumstances when suddenly crisis, like an unexpected snowstorm, seems to first stun and immobilize all of life around us. The causes of such crises are endless—and almost all of us can recall enduring such times—illness, accident, job loss, the end of a marriage through divorce or death; the effects of abuse from childhood that suddenly force their way into everyday life; infidelity or other types of betrayal by friends and family; experiencing addiction or living with one who does; watching a child struggle through bullying, or disability, or even worse, watching a child die; saying goodbye to parents or other family members and friends as they pass from this life.
There have been times when I have experienced such things and at first, all I can do is look in disbelief and shock; I may frantically try to free myself, by digging through the junk that seems to keep me stuck in the pain, without making much progress. And I feel compelled to do this on my own, because isn’t that what strong people do? Isn’t asking for help either from my immediate circle, or heaven forbid, others who are more experienced or skilled in dealing with storms, —isn’t this a sign of weakness? Even those groups of people working together to learn how to free themselves—how can they help, if they are stuck too?
But like getting “unstuck” from deep snow, I have found that asking for assistance and joining with others has literally saved my life at times. This is how it has worked for me:
First, I set my pride aside and admit there is no shame in letting these willing people come help me dig around the tires, to push when necessary, as I sit behind the steering wheel and choose the direction where I want to go. Their presence and insight make the whole process more tolerable, efficient, and comforting.
Often, people I’ve asked into my life just for the purpose of helping me dig out from a storm, have experience gained from weathering their own snowstorms, and can give me pointers.
They encourage me, knowing I need to first shift into the lowest gear in order to gain the greatest traction; while I would prefer to gun the motor and drive ahead quickly, slow and steady is what’s needed to move both me and a car gently forward-- and sometimes backward-- to be freed from a pile of snow or other difficulty.
Sometimes the process seems to take forever, but these people who walk with me add their strength to mine, just when I need it; they continue to point me to truth, when I might prefer to pretend that sitting in a cold car and waiting for someone to rescue me would be the easiest thing to do.
The thing about snowstorms is that we never know how dangerous and debilitating they are until they are upon us—while meteorologists can try to predict them, the storms themselves are unpredictable, and sometimes the temperature is colder, the snow is deeper, and the winds are stronger than anyone could have imagined.
Especially during these types of storms—some of the worst that life throws at us—the bravest, kindest thing I can do for myself is to recognize that stubbornness, pride, and yes, even a little stupidity, can disguise themselves as self-sufficiency. It’s always my choice, but if I choose self-sufficiency, I may be stuck in the storm for a very long time…or I might not survive it at all.
