The Problem with Bones
One of the reasons I enjoy my pets is that they will often provide comic relief when so much of life, especially this past year, feels heavy and serious. I was thinking about my big dog, Buddy. He weighs 115 pounds—give or take—a bull mastiff mix that we rescued from the side of a two-lane highway several years ago. Buddy likes bones, and when the weather is nice, I will sometimes pull a “dog bone” out of the freezer and give Buddy a special treat. But, what I’ve noticed is that Buddy doesn’t enjoy his treat much—at least for a while. I watch curiously, as he picks it up in his mouth and begins to whine, and then run to different places in the yard. He can’t seem to decide where he wants to settle. Next, he focuses on a spot, looks around suspiciously, and uses his giant paws to quickly dig. At last, he drops his bone in the ground, and uses his nose to bury his special treat.
This whole process of taking a special treat and burying it seems absurd to a human, but what comes next is even more odd. After a few moments of trotting around the yard, Buddy will go back to the spot where he buried his bone, and repeat the first process until he buries it again somewhere else. This same pattern continues for some random period of time, and all the while, Buddy’s brow is furrowed, he is whining, and nervously searching for the next safer spot to hide his bone. Again, I think to myself, “Poor, silly dog…he’s driving himself crazy when my only intent was to give him something to enjoy and chew.” At last, when Buddy finally buries his treat in a satisfactory location…without ever chewing it—he has rubbed the top of his nose raw because of this compulsion to repeatedly hide and then move his bone.
As I have been thinking about Buddy and his bone, I began to see similarities in what I do with things in my life—even good things. I can have a tendency to begin to worry or ruminate on what could go wrong with this good thing—a person, a job, a vacation, my health, or a plan. Or I fail to consider any positive outcome of a challenge I’m facing. Pittman and Karle, in Rewire Your Anxious Brain, describe worry as “the process of envisioning negative outcomes for a situation,” where as rumination “is a style of thinking that involves repetitively mulling over problems, relationships, or possible conflicts,” which includes focusing on the cause or effects of situations. They note that when we worry or ruminate about things, we create deep grooves in our thinking processes by focusing on concerns, and instead of finding solutions or comfort, we generate more anxiety within ourselves, --akin to Buddy’s whining and wearing a sore on the top of his nose. (This doesn’t account for all anxiety we experience, but is an important aspect in choosing to not create our own personal anxiety.)
I don’t know what Buddy is thinking when he is “worrying about his bone,” but judging from the whining and the painful spot he has worn on his nose, I think it certainly isn’t good. He’s taken a gift and turned it into something almost harmful…Which brings me back to myself and my tendencies to worry and ruminate over even good things. Max Lucado reminds me of the absurdity of my own behavior in his devotional, Grace for the Moment. Max focuses on Mathew 6:27 NLT, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not…”
Max Writes:
“Worry is irrelevant. It alters nothing. When was the last time you solved a problem by worrying about it? Imagine someone saying, ‘I got behind in my bills, so I resolved to worry my way out of debt. And, you know, it worked! A few sleepless nights, a day of puking and hand wringing…and—glory to worry—money appeared on my desk.’ It doesn’t happen! Worry changes nothing…your anxiety earns you heartburn, nothing more.”
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which involves identifying and changing thoughts that are self-defeating and unhealthy, is often helpful in dealing with anxiety produced by worry and rumination. The Bible spoke of this remedy for worry thousands of years before the development of Cognitive Behavioral Theory.
“Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God…Whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]…practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you.” (Philippians 4:6,8 Amp)
I sometimes wonder if God looks at me the same way I look at Buddy. Do I focus on problems I see and forget to remember the gifts? Does God shake His head and wonder why I choose to ruminate over challenges, imagining circumstances that only worsen, and miss possibilities or opportunities? I wonder what He thinks, when sometimes I unknowingly harm myself, by making a habit of imagining all the ways I could lose a gift, when He intended it to be nothing more than a blessing?
